Electric Underpants

After dropping off my daughter at school the other morning, I found myself driving down the street behind a truck with a license plate that read “TO SEXY.” I assume the driver was trying to get the message across that he or she had an amount of sexiness beyond the legal limit. But, unfortunately, “Too Sexy” and “2 Sexy” were taken, so he or she had to settle for “to sexy.” The problem is, of course, that “to sexy” is an infinitive, making “sexy” a verb. I mulled that over for quite a while and found myself trying to conjugate (so to speak) this new verb: I sexy, he sexies, they sexy, she is sexying. Then I tried working through the tenses: sexy, sexied, will sexy, have sexied, will be going to sexy. Then I tried to use it in a sentence, “John tried to sexy for Martha, but she had other plans.” It’s all very complicated and I’m still not sure what it means. The next time I see that truck, I think I’ll flag down the driver and ask what exactly it means to sexy. It’s probably something I should know about…